Tuesday started out really difficult, I was contracting a lot and having low back pain as well as pain in my legs. I finally called the nurse at my doctors office and her answer was pretty much what I expected, "You need to be laying down and not doing anything." I had to refrain from saying, "Duh!"
Anyway, I had been trying to nap, and unsuccessful because the contractions were waking me up. Needless to say I was very worried. Fortunately Mike was home and gave me a blessing, in which I was promised that my mind would relax and my anxieties would calm. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood. I really think I could have ended up in active labor had it not been for that gentle guide to relax!
Yesterday was so much better, only a few contractions, okay relatively few. I even went 2 hours at one point without any contractions.
I think I had given up on having this pregnancy go the way I wanted it to go. I was willing to submit to all of the things that I did not want for this pregnancy. Now I feel revived, ready to take this situation head on. I don't know if we will make it to 35 weeks, but I do know that I want another natural birth and I am willing to fight for it! I know that if I want a peaceful and beautiful experience that I have to start seeking it, I cannot wait for it to happen to me. I was putting all of my anxieties into the situation which was feeding the tension in my body, and accelerating the contractions.
Now, don't get me wrong, I know I can not control this situation, ultimately it will proceed the way it is meant to proceed. However, I do have the ability to prepare myself mentally, and emotionally to be in the moment and find joy in the journey.
Hope you are all well and happy today! I am off to draw some lotus blossoms and enjoy another day on the couch!
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